Why honesty is the best policy

2017 has been an interesting year for all of us and I am no exception! If anything though it has taught me a lot about myself and the people in my life (however cliche that sounds) and I have come to conclusion that trust and honesty are the most important things to me.

As we got to the end of 2016 I managed to bag myself a boyfriend but as this year is drawing to a close I have lost him. A major part of it was down to him being unfaithful but more than anything it was his lack of honesty. He let me carry on for 4 months thinking that we were happy and that he was as in love with me as I was with him. Had he told me back in September what he had been doing would I have forgiven him? No but I would’ve respected him more for being honest and my ability to trust in others wouldn’t be as hindered as it is now. Relationships are built on trust and at the very least you owe it to your partner to be honest about a mistake or a change in heart no matter how horrible it will be to tell them.

This past year has also taught me how important it is for me to be honest to the people around me. I have struggled with anxiety for a few years now and I used to try and hide it and act like nothing was ever wrong but this year I have changed that. If I feel uncomfortable or scared or anxious now I tell someone. If I don’t want to go somewhere because I know it is going to give me a panic attack I will say that to someone, not come up with some other alternative excuse that doesn’t involve my mental health. I have learnt to embrace the things that make me happy and not feel embarrassed about them anymore. Yes I still sleep with a teddy, the bear is not just sat on my bed because it looks cute. Yes I love Disney and I know all the films off by heart because I watched them yesterday not because I watched them loads as a child.

Most importantly though I have learnt to be more honest with myself. I used to feel a major pressure to conform to what others wanted me to and to do things just to make other people happy. I would hide away my own feelings and try to act like the people around me in order to fit in. Not anymore though. If I don’t feel happy in a place I am going to leave. If I don’t feel like someone is appreciating me for who I am then I am going to create distance between me and them. If someone wants something from me that I am not comfortable with doing then I am going to say no. It is time for me to accept that I do have anxiety. I don’t always want to go clubbing, I don’t want to travel to Thailand for 2 months, I don’t want to get off my face drunk, I don’t want to have casual relationships and that is all okay. I don’t have to do anything I don’t want to and from now on I am going to listen to myself more and less of the opinions of those around me.

The ability to have feelings and opinions is what makes us human and it is time to be more honest with each other about them. Wether it’s to your partner, your family, your friends or yourself 2018 is the year of telling the truth and I am bloody well looking forward to it!Go and grab another cuppa on me, Em x

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I grew up in a small English town just south of London with my parents and older brother. I was a very inquisitive child, with a love for dogs and a strong belief that I was a Disney character. None of that has changed, now I just have a greater appreciation for a good cup of tea (one sugar and a lil bit of milk) I am currently a second year graphic design student at Norwich University of the Arts and still learning my way through life. This blog is a chance for you to relax, grab a cup of tea and learn along with me.

16 thoughts on “Why honesty is the best policy”

  1. Good for you! And shame on your ex! Some words that are wise beyond your years in this post, and I hope they’ll help you make 2018 fully and wholly yours for the conquering! Happy New Year, and here’s to an amazing 2018!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hi Em, sorry to hear about that. Unfortunately I’m familiar with unfaithfulness in relationships too, and I hate that it is a thing!
    Honesty is definitely the best (should be the only) policy. Might be because I’m the worst liar on the planet, but I would never lie, what’s the point? Truth always comes out…
    But you are so right, I think what we must focus on is being honest with ourselves. As someone who also struggles with anxiety, I know I sometimes do “lie” to myself, or try to convince myself I’m okay or that I can do something I’m not comfortable with, and then end up disappointing myself.
    May 2018 be the best year so far, filled with love and acceptance, mostly from ourselves – to ourselves!
    PS: love the skirt! where did you get it from?

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I haven’t been diagnosed with anxiety, but since going to university nearly 2 and a half years ago, it has become an important part of who I am. I used to be so scared to tell people I struggle with it, especially without a diagnosis. Trying to explain how it would hit me out of no where was also hard to explain. I couldn’t agree more with being honest with yoruself​ and others. This can be hard, but so imporant ​to know where you​ stand with yourself and others. I’m sorry it took you a break up to realise some of this, but I am strong believer that all relationships teach us a lot 🙂

    Happy new year, Em x

    Liked by 1 person

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